


It's Hard to Dance With the Devil on Your Back

by LannisPuff



Series: Sharing Pain Soulmate AUs [2]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Ace's self-worth issues get adressed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 22:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13797882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LannisPuff/pseuds/LannisPuff
Summary: Ace's self-worth issues were brought up after Rocinante and Law had stayed with him and his brothers for six months, and perhaps this time Ace would finally listen.





	It's Hard to Dance With the Devil on Your Back

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's time for some Ace-love. This is set after Supportive Granddads United, but watch me carefully write around any hints at the actual plot and the eventual shit-show of Sabo's family to instead focus on Ace and his issues. I hint at Marco/Ace but if that's not your cup of tea you can hopefully look past it :) The title is from the song "Shake It Out" by Florence + the Machine 
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested I would love a beta-reader. I'm not a native English speaker so grammar and sentence structure inevitably slip past my own editing, and it's always nice to be able to discuss plot with someone. So if you're interested please tell me here or over at my tumblr, my url is Lannispuff there as well. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

It had been six months since Law and Rocinante had arrived to live with them, and Ace had to admit that it wasn’t bad. Law might have been grumpy and angry at most of them in the beginning, but even he wasn’t immune to Luffy’s smile. Ace would have been more apprehensive of the older boy being Luffy’s soulmate, but he got over it surprisingly quickly after he’d seen them together. Luffy, of course, was his normal happy self, and Law seemed to taw much quicker in the presence of Ace’s little brother than he did with anyone else. Ace also couldn’t forget about the marks, and even if they’d never spoken about it, he suspected Luffy knew more than Ace and Sabo did. It was also hard to hate someone who so obviously appreciated Luffy and who he cared about in return. Even if Law was older he never talked down to Luffy. He got annoyed, he screamed, and sometimes he even banged his head against trees, but afterwards he always took the time to explain, even if Luffy mostly just ended up declaring the subject a “mystery” and moving on. It was also in the way they behaved, how Luffy would sometimes share his meat with Law, or how Law would attempt to bandage Luffy’s wounds. Wounds that he knew wasn’t that bad, because he could feel them, but still took the time to treat, and then they’d fall asleep beside each other still touching so that they _wouldn’t_ feel them. It was so obvious in how they moved together, how Law, who had seemed to feel trepidation at touching anyone other than his father at first, reached out a hand to touch Luffy’s arm when he passed or how the both of them just relaxed into each other when they sat down beside each other. If Ace had been doubtful about the pain relief part of soulmates he was certainly convinced now.

 

Slowly Law went from the weird new kid, to Luffy’s soulmate, to one of the them. Now the people in the Gray Terminal muttered about those four boys starting trouble. A few remarks about how they kept becoming more and mutters of them starting a gang could be heard when they made their trips, but Ace didn’t really care. Also, Law had a really good devil fruit for stealing. At first he’d been reluctant to even tell them about it, but after some time he’d given in and by now they’d learnt how to use it to the best of their ability, and because of the frequent practice Law had become better and better at using it.

 

Today they had split up, Sabo had been weird since yesterday when someone shouted for him in town, so he’d stayed behind with Luffy and Rocinante to train while Ace and Law went to the town. It was an arrangement that fit Ace well because since they’d chosen a bar as their target he could take the chance to ask some questions. He’d been asking the adults in High town for a long time now and even if he was certain of the answer he’d get by now he couldn’t stop asking.

 

“What would you say if the pirate king had a kid?” He tried to sound as casual as possible, and it was his job to distract them after all so Law probably wouldn’t mind even if he happened to overhear. He wouldn’t understand anyway, since Ace hadn’t told him of his father.

“What?” One of the drunk men drawled and almost spilled his bear as he leaned over. “That brat would be a demon! I really hope he never had a child, because that monster should just die then!” Several voices joined in with similar opinions and Ace felt the familiar lump in his throat that the answer always brought, but he’d long since learnt to ignore it. Instead he took that chance to knock over the lamp and plunge the already murky bar into almost darkness that hid the sheen of Law’s room. It only took a few minutes for someone to get the light up again but by then they’d already left, pockets heavy with coins instead of pebbles.

 

They were more than halfway through the forest when Law spoke up.

“Why did you ask that about Roger?” Ace almost lost his balance in shock at the sudden question, but he really should have expected it.

“I was supposed to distract them, so I did”, he answered, and he had to fight to keep his voice unbothered.

“They’re wrong, you know”, Law’s voice was quiet, and he gave Ace a searching look, as if to see if the other would accept his declaration.

“Are they really?” Ace wanted to continue sounding unbothered, but his voice cracked a tiny bit, and it was enough for Law, who was so very observant, to notice.

“Yes, they are”, he repeated, louder.

“How can everyone be wrong? People always say the same thing, and it’s because it’s the truth”, Ace’s voice felt hollow, but it was hard to keep up his facade when he felt like this. When the heavy pressure of the world’s hate was forcing its way over him and drowning out any positive things his brothers or anyone else might have said before.

“Stop that!” Law sounded annoyed now. “You’re not your father!” Ace didn’t want to argue so he turned away, but then Law’s words really sank in and he snapped his head back towards the other.

“Who told you?!” Law gaped for a second before closing his mouth and staring back in silence. “Ugh, why am I even asking, of course it was Luffy”, Ace sighed, he wanted to scream and rage as he usually did but at the same time he just felt so tried. He didn’t want to be this monster, but a monster he was and monster he would remain.

 

They were almost back at the house and Ace really didn’t want to go there right now. Law kept looking at him but thankfully he kept quiet. Luffy would not be quiet when Ace and Law got back, and if Law told him about what Ace had said they would start to argue about it again. He really didn’t have the energy for that so while Law stepped into the clearing Ace stopped in the tree-line.

“I’m going to the fort”, he said, and before Law had time to respond he’d turned around to run away at top speed. Law might have gotten a lot faster since he’d arrived, but he still wasn’t nearly fast enough to keep up with Ace through the forest. Hopefully he would understand Ace’s need to be alone and leave him be.

 

Ace got to the tree-house in record time and he quickly made his way to the top. There he sat down and let himself breathe. The sky was almost completely dark, and he could see more stars the longer he looked. He didn’t look long. Instead he pulled his knees up to his chest he rested his forehead against them and tried to shut out the world. It didn’t matter what Sabo, Luffy or Law said, everyone else in the world couldn’t be wrong. He was a monster. Even his soulbond was broken.

 

He knew how it was supposed to be, he’d seen Sabo’s marks for years, and now both Luffy and Law’s matching marks. It was very obvious how it was supposed to work, one got injured and the marks showed up on the other along with the pain. Then they stayed there until they healed. Everyone thought Ace didn’t have a soulmate, or that they weren’t born yet, and Ace wanted that to be the truth, because it would be so much easier. But it wasn’t the truth. He’d seen the marks, he’d felt burning overwhelming pain as burns or gunshots or huge slashes appeared on his body, but then they’d always disappear. They never lasted, he never got to see them heal slowly the way they did on his brothers, they just disappeared like they’d never been there in the first place. It had to mean that the bond with his soulmate was broken, and he wanted to be thankful for it. That he at least didn’t pull down some random stranger who’d never done anything to deserve a monster for a soulmate. He wanted to be thankful, but he couldn’t help but cry. In a world that hated him for who his father was not even his soulmate could stay in contact for longer than a few seconds. It wasn’t fair. He hated it and he was jealous of Luffy and Law, and he hated himself even more for being jealous for something they had and he didn’t deserve.

 

“Ace? Are you up here?” The voice cut through his haze of misery and Ace threw up his head so fast that he hit it on the wall behind himself. “Ace?” Rocinante asked again and he quickly wiped his face for any stray tears.

“Roci-san, what are you doing here?” He asked as the blond man showed up on the highest level of the tree-house. It was actually quite impressive that he’d managed to get this far with his huge body, and he had to struggle for a while more before he made his way up completely.

“I came to talk to you”, the wide smile looked softer than usual, even with leaves and branches tangled in his hair.

“I want to be alone”, Ace snapped and hid his face again.

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone if you want to, but I want to talk to you first”, Ace still didn’t look up, but it sounded as if Rocinante made himself comfortable on the floor next to him.

 

“You know, family can be a lot of different things. Like how you consider Sabo and Luffy your brothers even if you aren’t related by blood”, Ace looked up at that, because of course they were his brothers! Rocinante looked back at him with a smile. “and since they’re your brothers even if you aren’t connected by blood, why would it matter who you _are_ blood related to?” Dammit, did everyone know now? Why were his brothers so horribly bad at keeping secrets?

“It matters because I’m a monster!” He raised his voice to push away his feelings. “Everyone says he was the devil himself, how could I be any better? I shouldn't even have been born” His voice got quieter and at the end it just sounded broken and sad. Rocinante sighed, stretched out his long legs across the floor and pulled a hand through his hair.

“We should never be judged by the sins of our family”, he paused for a second before continuing “If that was the case I should just go and throw myself of the nearest cliff”, he sounded so tried and Ace looked at him in shock. Rocinante was like the adult version of Luffy, a bit odd and extremely clumsy, but probably the kindest person Ace had ever met. His declaration didn’t make sense.

“Why?”

“I know you’re seen my scars, and you know a bit of what happened to Law because of Luffy”, Ace just stared in silence, because he had no idea where this conversation would lead. “Law’s story is his to tell, but I can tell you mine.

"I was undercover in a pirate crew, a ruthless one that did horrible things, and I stayed there for years and I did things I would rather forget, but it was nothing compared to the captain of that crew. He believes he’s a god, that he’s better than everyone else and that he is owed respect by everyone, and those who do not respect him, or those who aren’t useful to him, he kills. He killed his own father when he was only ten years old, and since then he has only gotten worse. That man is the reason we’re running, why Garp helped us hide out here, in the weakest sea where he’ll probably won’t look for us. He might think I’m dead, because he got uncomfortably close to killing me during our last meeting, hence most of the scars, but eventually he’ll come for us again. He wants Law’s devil fruit, and he’s not the sort of person who gives up on something he wants. If there ever was a person who was evil through and through, it wasn’t Gol D. Roger, it’s Donquixote Doflamingo.” He paused, and Ace wondered where this story was leading, what Rocinante wanted to tell him.

“That man is my biological older brother”

 

Ace could barely process the information, couldn’t wrap his head around how someone as kind as Rocinante could have someone like that for a brother? It didn’t make sense. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, unable to properly form words.

“Do you hate me because of my brother? Am I evil because of what he has done?” Rocinante asked, voice questioning but kind.

“No! Of course not!” Ace burst out, horrified at the thought. A soft smile spread on his lips at Ace’s answer.

“So why would anyone hate you? Why should you be judged by the actions of your father when I’m not judged by the actions of my brother?” He paused for a few seconds to let Ace think over his words. “We’re all our own people, we are shaped by our experiences, our choices and our actions. Not by the blood that runs through our veins. Sengoku took me in after Doffy murdered our father, and he became my family. And then I met Law and now he’s my son, and even if we three share no blood between us we’re family all the same. Just like you and your brothers. Why should our lives be dictated by the actions of others? I am not my brother and you are not your father. It doesn’t matter what strangers think, they’re wrong and misled, and why would you listen more to them than your family? Your brothers love you, Dadan loves you, Garp loves you, and I love you. Doesn’t that matter?” Ace couldn’t form words through the lump in his throat. And when Rocinante put his arm around him they burst forth and Ace practically threw himself into the hug.

 

“Roci-san!” He sobbed, and the man just held onto him tight and let him cry, even if Ace was dirtying his shirt with tears and snot.

“It’s alright Ace”, he mumbled and softly combed his fingers through his hair, “I’m here, it’s alright now”, Ace sobbed harder but Rocinante didn’t seem to care. He just kept hugging him, rubbing a hand over this back and through his hair and muttering soothing words. Ace didn’t really notice when the emotional exhaustion pushed him to sleep, but he woke up after a while to the rhythmic steps of Rocinante walking through the forest.

“Roci-san?” He asked, voice thin and raspy from sleep and too much crying.

“It’s alright Ace, you can go back to sleep, I’m just talking you home”

“Okay”, Ace barely got the response out before he was asleep again. Safe in the arms of an adult who cared about him and was there to show it. He might not have been completely convinced yet, but Rocinante had made good points that were worth thinking over. Ace’s soul marks might still be weird and possibly broken, but he had a family that loved him unconditionally, and for tonight that would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I debated over what the boys would call Rocinante, and I ended up with Roci-san because if Luffy won't say Trafalgar he certainly wont be able to say Rocinante, and even if Law calls him Cora-san I can't help but think that he probably doesn't want to be forever connected to the code-name from his brothers gang. In the light of that I headcanon that Luffy just combined what Law calls his dad with what Rocinante introduced himself as and ended up with Roci-san, something that his brothers then picked up as well.


End file.
